“The moment you feel that just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right”
— Neil Gaiman
I received an email recently and it really warmed my heart:
Reading this email has inspired me to publish a stream of thoughts that I wrote down recently on vulnerability. So thank you Samrat. This one’s for you.
If you close yourself off to hurt, you close yourself off to happiness too. They come through the same door.
A social mask is your safety, I get that.
But vulnerability is the birthplace of joy and the defining mark of a human. It takes courage to give a part of yourself with no guarantee that you’ll be accepted or loved in return.
In one of my favourite poems, Charles Bukowski writes: "Nobody can save you but yourself. They will attempt again and again through subterfuge, guise and force to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly inside. But don’t, don’t, don’t. Just watch them. Do you want to be like that? A faceless, mindless, heartless being? Do you want to experience death before death?".
I've watched people succumb to numbness through convenience, or even fashion. The world rewards insensitivity with the spoils of war. There is no effort required, no ticket needed for entry. To become bitter, one must simply give up and giving up demands nothing from you.
We must feel. Feel what? All of it.
Having emotional blockages means that you are carrying around unresolved material. This restricts you from connecting with others in a deep, significant way. Whenever I've found myself having a meaningful interaction with another individual, I've asked myself: what makes this experience stand out? It's almost certainly because the other person was giving me a piece of themselves. This interpersonal nakedness is what creates an entry point for love. Love needs a place to land.
No feeling is final. You might feel some shame by being vulnerable, a little fear, an inkling of doubt. This is all temporary. But your regrets will be permanent and you will carry them around like weights.
Leave. no. room. for. what. ifs.
Entropy is perhaps the greatest counter to a fear of emotional transparency. One day, everything you know will decay and evaporate into nothingness. So what if vulnerability scares you? So what if it makes you uncertain? All that shame will disappear one day, along with your existence. Everything is a risk. Not doing anything is a risk.
The influence of a vital person vitalises. Everyone who sees you practicing vulnerability will notice it and those who have eyes to see, will be changed by it. The mere presence of a liberated person liberates others.
Never wear the numb label proudly. If you are numb, you are dead. You have to feel. You have to be swallowed up. You have to be tender. You have to risk your heart. That is why you are here on earth. Ultimately, there is no losing in living, no losing in vulnerability.
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